Reflection 6

The greatest takeaways I had from EleSondra DeRomano’s discussion with our class was that forgiveness, kindness and honesty are always possible. El’s discussion was approached with a level of transparency and personalization that is rare for speakers in a classroom setting. She was non-judgemental - answering the questions we all had but were too afraid to ask. She was reassuring - emphasizing that all struggles are valid, even when their magnitude is lesser than another’s. Most importantly, she was honest - reminding us that the ups and downs of life are not as linear as we may think. Where some may assume her story is one of challenge followed by triumph, she revealed that even in the roughest of times there are bright spots, and in the purportedly best of times, there are lows. No, her parents were not people we can simply sign off as evil, but loving and providing individuals. No, her life is not perfect now that she runs a non-profit, rather, her son still struggles with substance abuse challenges.

Furthermore, she set us at ease, by urging us to be our most unreserved self: laugh, ask questions, and react like human beings. I liked this request, because so often I think we censor ourselves in the classroom to become a version that we perceive the professor or our peers will appreciate more. I especially liked this request because it led to more thoughtful questions about her opinions and allowed her to offer life advice. I was particularly struck by her noting that she has forgiven the people who have wronged her in the past. The only person harmed by holding onto resentment is yourself, and life will only improve by unburdening yourself of anger and hate. Even though we have vastly different life experiences, this comment seemed applicable to areas of my life, prompting me to work on forgiving those who have hurt me in the past.

Overall, I want to thank El for being here. Thank you for speaking to us with care and compassion, and allowing us to hear your experience and learn from it.