REFLECTION 5
Elesondra’s opening story “My Real Name” truly brought me to the verge of tears. They were not tears of sympathy for her unimaginably difficult past, nor tears of rage at the systems that failed her so many times, nor tears of sadness knowing so many children are stuck in the same cycles of torture. I was crying tears of hope, joy, and inspiration knowing that a human being could carry the resilience needed to create a web of positivity and light out of so much negativity and darkness.
While so much of Elesondra’s story is too heartbreaking to begin imagine relating to, I felt very seen by her description of being able feel comfortable telling her story to fellow survivors, large audiences, school assemblies, and even the President, but having a very small support network who understands her story in the context relating to her current mentality. Had time permitted, I was hoping to ask Ele how she grapples with that, and how it feels for her trauma to be the defining factor of her occupation and public-facing identity.
As a public speaker and advocate myself, this is something that really sparked a lot of introspection. I feel safe and empowered to share the story of medical abuse I’ve faced in advocacy settings: at conferences, in legislative policy drafting and lobbying sessions, to reporters and interviewers, in articles, and even to President Biden. When someone opens up to me and apologizes for trauma dumping or oversharing, I tend to joke that I’ve “literally trauma dumped to the President, so I don’t think there’s such a thing as oversharing.” However, I sometimes worry that by turning my trauma into a career, I’m giving it too much power, letting it become the entirety of my personality. However, Ele proved that this does not have to be the case. She is so full of quirks and unique features to her personality, and there are infinite words to describe her that are not inherently part of her trauma: enthusiastic, caring, stubborn, confident, motherly, motivational. Ele did not let her past define her, but rather she defined it. She took control of her narrative and is using it to change the world. This gives me hope that I can do the same.